Artist Bio, Artists To Know

Ask Me Anything Series : My Artistic Influences

I’m often asked who my biggest influences in the art world are, and who MY favorite artists are as an artist myself. The earliest piece of historical art I remember being drawn to is Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh. A representation of this piece was printed on the windows of my elementary school’s library. I also have a vivid memory of looking at large posters of his work during “Picture Parent” day in 2nd or 3rd grade, where parents of kids in class would volunteer to give a little art history lesson once a month. We talked about his time painting in France, and got to eat Brie cheese because, France. I think the snack helped make it particularly memorable.

As I got older, I became more interested in meticulously detailed, mechanically tight artwork rather than impressionism, but I could still be grabbed by Van Gogh’s unusual use of color and pattern. To this day, I myself tend to use non-typical colors that are a bit off, but in a good way (or so it has been described by others). Many say Van Gogh’s art is only interesting because of his story, and that may be true but I think that’s ok because artists’ stories inevitably end up woven into their art. They cannot be separated. Reading his letters to his brother and his thoughts on faith, art, friendship, and the world surrounding all while struggling with various (back then untreatable) disabilities have certainly added to my appreciation of his art as I’ve grown older. Reportedly, there is a story where Van Gogh was talking to a clergy (He was quite religious and considered going into ministry, but his unpredictable temperament was a barrier.). The clergy asked, “How can you say God gave you the spiritual gift of art, when well … your paintings aren’t very good? Maybe you should try something else.” Van Gogh replied, “Maybe I’m painting for people who aren’t born yet?” Artists follow our path, even when it doesn’t look like it makes sense. As someone who feels a deep sense of purpose in what I do including my teaching, this resonates.

The surreal work of women like Frida Kahlo, Leonora Carrington, and Remedios Varo are more favorites from history. I describe most of the work I do as “surreal portraiture”.

Modern day favorite artists are so many, especially with easy access to images on demand: Sofia Bonati, James Jean, Bao Pham, Wanda Tali to name a few… Art involving people and faces is always what stands out to me first, ever since I discovered Mucha and Erte from looking through art calendars in Barnes and Noble as a teen, my go to hangout spot in a town without much to do back then.

All of these artists’ work makes me feel excited and energized, but I think even more so than other artists are influences, I am influenced by snippets of individual images. I have always had a great memory for imagery, and tend to notice and fixate on interesting shapes, colors, and patterns nestled in my surroundings. I have been ‘screenshotting’ images mentally long before smartphones, and waiting for the perfect moment to retrieve that specific pattern on my mom’s old tin recipe box that she let me play with in my pretend kitchen as a toddler, the warm color scheme of polka dots on my Great Grandpa’s Mid Century Modern juice glasses he’d use to bring us Orange-Pineapple-Banana juice and Donettes when we visited, the crazy wallpaper I once saw at a friend’s house, the interesting tree I passed in someone’s yard while on a walk … All of this ends up in an internal slideshow gallery, a collection of beautiful and interesting things. This appreciation for visuals is partially innate I think, but probably also comes from my parents who in their own way also have an appreciation for beautiful and interesting things. Both love antiques. My dad is a collector, and he would always share interesting rocks, shells, and marbles with me from his treasures growing up. My mom, an avid gardener, would get excited about showing me interesting bugs, and I had all the most premium “insect hotels” to catch and observe them before releasing them back into the wild.

Inspiration comes from everywhere, and sometimes I wonder how a person can be alive and not be constantly inspired.

If you are reading this and have any questions for me as an artist, shoot them my way and I’ll turn your answer into a post, too!

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Exhibitions and Other News

New Art / Disability & Mental Health & Exciting News

One of the reasons my new series is so slow to completion is because I’ve been creating a lot of art specifically for themed exhibits. I typically only do this if the premise speaks to me, and lately a lot of the local exhibit opportunities have really resonated. This piece was created for the Midland Area Cultural Awareness Coalition’s Pop Up Exhibit with the prompt “Our differences make us better together”. I was thinking a lot about how culture doesn’t always mean our country of origin, and how some differences can be internal more than external. In “Symphony”, I aimed to show neurodiversity including both disability and mental health. I used colored pencil for the figures, fabric for their clothing, ink for the birds, and watercolor for the background. I’m typically not a bright color person with my art, but this piece called for it. After I blended every watercolor in my palette into the background, it was … well, very bright and competing a bit too much with the figures even in their high contrast black and white. Solution: a wash of pearl white acrylic overtop. I love that this kerfuffle happened in the first place because having an iridescent foil effect in the background ended up so much cooler than if it would have been left just straight pastel watercolor.

I use birds with figures for symbolism a lot, because I love the movement birds add to an image and birds have long been a visual metaphor for the soul. The different artistic depiction of the birds flowing from each figure are representations of different ways of thinking and processing. I see this all the time with my art classes I teach. In the beginner classes, we will usually create the same basic image together step-by-step, but the exciting variety I see across everyone’s artwork still is truly amazing.

The birds eventually all converge into one stream, mingling together and blending into streaks of color. I didn’t have a title for this piece until the very end, when the word “Symphony” came to mind. Our thoughts, words, ideas, personality, presence, all play a part in our community and society as a whole, and each part is important. Much like a symphony in which each instrument layers together to create the finished song, or a work of art like this one where each splash of paint or piece of fabric layers together to create a recognizable image, all of our different experiences and ways of looking at and processing the world are necessary for innovation and progress.

This piece was one of the most fun mixed media artworks to create that I’ve worked on in awhile, and I was additionally honored with the Best Of Show Award. Prints will be available soon in my online shop, so keep an eye out, or you can always contact me directly.

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Exhibitions and Other News

Summer 2024 Wrap Up & Artsy Photo Dump

This summer came and went so quickly, I wanted to do a recap. This started out as something just for myself and my personal journaling to stop and reflect, but then I thought it may be interesting to those that follow me to hear what I’ve been up to. I love sharing fascinating things related to creativity, but sometimes forget to talk about what I’ve been up to. 

This was truly an art-filled summer. I completed my first largescale mural after years of mini public arts projects. I learned a lot, and gained important experience to carry forward into future projects. I was able to integrate community participation into my design with the overarching concept being a message of inclusion, which is very important to me. The process of allowing anyone and everyone to make their mark in helping with the base coats of color made the inclusion more than just conceptual, but a reality of the artistic process.

I distributed my art and handmade wares into 4 gallery shops covering Midland (Creative 360), Saginaw (Gingerblue), and Bay City (Catworks, Studio 23). I work between these 3 cities as well as an arts educator, and they are all within 30 minutes of each other which makes replenishing sold items something I can do with ease and not a lot of arduous travel or pre-planning. Sometimes I get overly focused on “elsewhere” and while expansion is important, working close by may be what is best for my busy schedule and self care right now. 

I stretched myself and did my first live painting at a wedding. Making a photo-realistic portrait to memorialize someone’s once in a lifetime (or that’s the goal anyway!) day is a lot of pressure. I also had a very limited time, and I’m not usually a wedding person even with people I know well since these sorts of events are typically a social anxiety doozy for me. The experience ended up being a much needed bright spot in what happened to have been a very tough week. It was beautiful, vibrant, inspiring, and uplifting in all the best ways, and was another opportunity that added to my repertoire of services I can offer.

I officially expanded my online shop to not just art, but art and fun fashion and cute collectible things I like in an effort to declutter and simplify life (starting with my wardrobe!) and have a greater customer reach. As we get closer to the holidays, might I suggest you check out the shop for unique wares ;).  

I took a break from some things I consistently do in order to make room for new experiences. I chose not to participate in any art fairs until mid-September, put off any little home repair projects until Fall, didn’t book myself solid with classes or alternatively plan a bunch of trips. I gardened, journaled, did lots of reading, spent time just being outside, increased physical-activity-related hobbies, and cooked at home a lot. It may sound like a boring summer, but it was so regenerative and allowed me to get ready for a busier Fall.

Since it’s not technically Fall yet, I ended my Summer with a wonderful surprise … I was awarded 2nd Place at Studio 23’s Michigan All-State Juried Exhibition for my piece “Breathe” – and it sold the evening of the show! I get very attached to my art so it’s always satisfying yet bittersweet when one sells, but honestly I could not be more excited.

What are some memorable moments from your Summer of 2024?

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Artist Bio

Storytime! My First Art Job, A Very 90s-Kid Tale

The only time I ever felt 100% ‘solid’ outside of my home growing up as a kid was in art class; a real, seen person as opposed to a sort of misty vapor you may feel in the air but not give much notice – a draft that causes a door in the house to close causing a noise for just a second, this abrupt sound being the end of its impact. I wasn’t popular by any means, and though gifted academically, I had far too much social anxiety and general sense of perpetual overwhelm to be a leader. This makes it all the more curious that I managed to spearhead a short-lived fashion empire at my elementary school in my tenth year.

I didn’t have the look of an up and coming designer. I wore jeggings before there was a word for them, much to my classmates’ amusement. I suppose I was just 20 years ahead of the trends. Other than that, I typically donned a whole lot of athleisure, emphasis on the leisure part of that word because I was hopeless at sports. (Note the photo of me with my hero wearing a fake soccer uniform from the American Girl catalogue.) Despite my unassuming style, I could draw models donning original clothing that caught the eyes of the other girls in class. I drew my own fashion magazines at home all the time. When asked what I was doing one day while doodling at my desk after finishing my classwork early, I answered after a long pause, “Working on my magazine”. The next day, half the class was lining up for interviews to be on staff.

I assigned everyone departments. We even had a lingerie section, ironically drawn by the most religious girl in class. She curtly explained without being asked that the models in the hand-drawn photoshoot were married so it was ok, with a definitive huff at the end. As Editor In Chief, people were coming to me for approval and advice, and it felt good at first. They even followed my quirky rules. All text in the publication had to be written in the alien font I invented, which was a mix of Egyptian hieroglyphics and Microsoft Webdings. All were given translation keys for their convenience.

Things were going smoothly until one day, my Vice President called an emergency meeting with only the board of the Fashion Club, as we were so creatively called. A lot of members felt one of the girl’s designs just weren’t cutting it. They proposed she be ousted from the group. I gave it careful consideration, and admitted her ideas weren’t very good. She complained about having to use my specialized typography, also made clear regularly her disdain for the requirement that our designer names be our first names spelled backwards, and she lived in my neighborhood and frequently stopped over without calling first to play with my toys. I was still steamed that last time she’d visited, she spat on my Sleeping Beauty Aurora doll whose eyes close like she’s sleeping when you wet them with … well, it was supposed to be water. I’d never fired anyone before – I’d never even had a real job aside from watering the neighbor’s plants when they went on vacation. It could be fun.

The next recess, I called neighborhood girl into my office, which was behind the tallest tree on the playground. I told her directly that this wasn’t working out, expecting it to be cool. It was not cool. She called me a bitch, a word I only knew from my favorite Alanis Morrissette song, and gave me the finger, a gesture whose meaning was unclear to me at this time. Following this, she ran off sobbing uncontrollably. I felt terrible. I’d had my first real taste of power and influence, and I absolutely hated it.

The next morning, I apologized to neighborhood girl, resigned from my own publication, and faded back into obscurity as nature intended. It was way more fun spending recesses pretending to be a Pokémon anyway.

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Artist Bio, Techniques and Tutorials

Happy New Year! Winter Watercolors And New Year’s Day Thoughts

2023 was overall a fantastic year filled with enriching experiences, but the last quarter, typically my favorite part of each year, definitely roundhouse kicked me in the behind. I ended the year with pretty debilitating burnout, and was already begrudgingly dreading the middle-to-end of the NEXT year because, why would it be any different? I’m sitting here like a big dummy changing absolutely nothing about the major pillars of my life.

We hear time and time again that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. A fear of stagnation is drilled into us, and especially in this day and age we are expected to always be doing something new. People that don’t like change or enjoy a particular routine are looked at as dull and uninspiring, lacking in aspiration. We are told if we get tired of something, or a particular job, relationship, etc. isn’t serving us then just drop everything and start over, and often face judgement if we don’t. Everyone sees the big changes, but no one notices those subtle, butterfly effect changes that can make a huge difference without completely blowing up your life (Disclaimer: Sometimes you do need to start over, trust me, I’ve been there. But not always…) I propose a little bit of advocacy for consistency, and sticking around long enough to get to the breakthrough.

This was a year of growth for me: growth in closeness to my family and friends both new and old; growth with my partner as we both became better versions of ourselves individually, and learned how to mesh these individual identities into a shared life; and growth in my career as the first year I worked as an independent artist. Growth is not linear. Not everything worked well. There was a lot of joy as I packed more different experiences than I’ve had in the last 5 years into one, but also a lot of tears. Much of 2023 was one big learning experience.

I grew my online business, took part in public arts projects, lead an art restoration project, taught art to just about every age and ability level in 5 different cities, and finally refurbished my unfinished basement and created an official home studio.

Some things I learned in my first year as an independent artist are:

  • Teaching is a key component for job stability as a traditional artist. I’ve seen other independent artists that are graphic designers make logos and web design their main base, but as a creator who only dabbles in the more techy stuff, teaching at local arts non-profits has been a consistent base especially once word of mouth spreads via happy students. Being involved as a contractor at larger organizations rather than only trying to teach private lessons or workshops independently has the added benefit of opening the door to other opportunities once that organization learns your skillset.
  • Be choosy about market venues. When it comes to in person art markets and festivals, I had been taking the approach of best value and high quantity. I ended up getting super burnt out as it’s no secret markets are a lot of work, and so many of the “Amazing, this venue is only charging 20 bucks to set up!” opportunities were completely dead with no customers. All those small charges could have added up to funds to afford the gas and booth fee for an out of town venue in a more populated, high traffic area for example. In 2024 I will be focusing on larger, more established markets, but maybe doing less than 5 per year rather than one every couple weeks. When it comes down to it, today I think in person sales are more about getting your face out there and talking to people about your brand than making a huge amount of money.
  • Your social tribe isn’t necessarily the same demographic as your customers. This is something really interesting I’ve discovered through my own record keeping and observations. I do a lot of upcycled clothing. Overwhelmingly, the women who buy my clothing are women 2-3+ decades older than me that enjoy having artsy statement pieces as a part of their everyday wardrobe. My juniors painted and fabric collage garments on the other hand take forever to move. Similarly, when I set up my art prints and mixed media work for sale at venues that are places I’d actually hang out (a punk rock music festival for example) I sold almost nothing, but when I set up at events that attracted a lot of customers that were actually quite different from me and my typical friend group, I surprisingly sold well! It is advantageous to pay attention to who is most excited about your work, and see if there are any common threads.
  • Take control of your schedule, and be intentional. One of the main reasons I wanted to go independent was to get a better handle on my anxiety level. I have always had an incredibly difficult time with not knowing exactly what my schedule will look like way ahead, or the idea of my day to day routine being controlled by someone else – that’s a big anxiety trigger for me, and though I’ve tried to work around it at the end of the day it’s just how my brain works. I was tempted to jam in every opportunity possible all over the place because realistically, sometimes things don’t run and I didn’t want to come up empty handed. I ended up with an erratic schedule that if a boss had handed to me, I’d have been really angry with them – but it was me who had done it to myself! Dealing with work that is not necessarily “guaranteed” can be nerve-wracking because, well, survival. Now that I have been able to observe what usually always ends up pulling through and what pursuits are a bit more of a wildcard, I can allow myself to say no to some things so that I can include other important things in my life besides just work.
  • Become familiar and comfortable with ups and downs. As implied, there will be times when everything is coming together and it’s one big achievement after the other, and times when things are really slow. It’s like this for any independent or commission based job, and you have to just expect it to happen and plan/budget accordingly to the best of your ability.
  • Resist marrying your value and identity to your job. This has been difficult for me anyway as discussed in a previous post. It is especially challenging for those that are in a creative field because so much of what we put out into the world through our craft is very personal. However, this tie is dangerous because during those times when work slows down or a project you were excited about gets delayed, etc. you end up taking it personally and feeling like you are a bad person or have a bad life, and it can color absolutely everything. A small or medium size setback becomes insurmountable. I love what I do and am passionate about it, but it is no longer the most important facet of my existence and that is normal and healthy.

I always do a small project for the new year inspired by the new Pantone Color Of The Year. This year’s was Peach Fuzz, which is honestly not my favorite. However, the soft, neutral orange color was perfect to add a warm glow to some watercolor winter scenes.

I hope you enjoy the quick demo, and have a wonderful start to the new year. Other working creatives out there, what are some things that you learned in 2023?

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Artist Bio

What To Do When Your Brain Says “NOPE!”

Some spicy discussions are happening about what classifies as an actual disability, and when accommodations are reasonable just as we’ve tied up Disability Pride Month after a video of a distraught young woman shared an unpleasant job interview experience. She was allegedly yelled at by the interviewer after being asked if there would be leniency and accommodation for her time blindness. Being tossed around are accusations of faking disability when one is really just lazy, “this never used to be a problem!”, comments of how this younger generation has no resilience or willpower, and more.

I’ve worked with individuals with disabilities for over a decade now, and I can say that time blindness can be a very real thing. It is often a symptom of ADHD (though, nothing is across the board – I also know people with ADHD that are early for everything!). It is fair to say we are seeing more cases of ADHD now, which is why this and other issues may seem more common. Whether that can be linked to the different way we interface with technology compared to the past, diet, the fact that are school system is built upon making children sit in one room and listen to someone talk for 6+ hours, or other factors I’m not going to get into because I’m not an expert so what I have to say would mostly be speculation. I also think it’s fair to say we as a society are struggling with resiliency, but I’d also argue life has become exceedingly more complicated, and resiliency is really a moot point when your brain just won’t cooperate with you on a given task. I’ve had employees work under me who I would legitimately have to remind on a weekly basis when they were to come in to teach their class, even though they taught at 2:00 on Tuesday for example, the same time every week for 4 months. At first I thought they were putting me on, until I realized they honestly couldn’t get a handle on remembering their schedule, even sometimes after writing it down.

I have my own “stuff” as we all do, and I can tell you there is nothing more infuriating and painful than repeatedly being told you’d be better at something if you’d only try, when you have poured every fiber of energy you have into trying only to see no improvement. I have a funny little thing that is referred to in layman’s terms as “location blindness”. What’s interesting is, usually people that have this acquired it due to traumatic brain injury, but I just got lucky and have always been like this. I have the complete inability to retain directional information or orient myself in space. I have always had an above-excellent visual memory, so it isn’t like I don’t remember what different places look like, I just can’t fit the puzzle pieces together. It’s all details, no big picture. I have to use GPS to get to the same grocery store I’ve used in town for the past 10 years. When I was first learning to drive, I noticed things just weren’t clicking into place as I’d assumed they would, so I would study directions to places I frequent like one would study for an exam. It did absolutely nothing for this almost straight A student … I still couldn’t tell you how to get from point A to point B. If I get up in a restaurant to go to the bathroom, I have to very deliberately focus on the exact turns “right, left, right again…” that I made as I left my seat and repeat them in my head the whole time like a mantra or I won’t find my seat again, which is always super embarrassing. I recall asking my doctor about it and her saying though the degree to which I seem to have trouble is not as common, it’s not dangerous just wildly inconvenient.

Another struggle that’s a bit less important, wheels and I are not friends. I just barely learned to ride a bike without training wheels before junior high, and I never learned to roller-skate or rollerblade. I made renewed attempts during COVID lockdown when I had copious amounts of time on my hands, and made 0% progress sadly. I recall countless roller arena end of the school year parties growing up, because 90s kid, where I was sitting on the sidelines trying to look like I was having fun and well meaning adults would come up to me and say, “Well I feel bad that you’re sitting here by yourself, but we all make choices about what we want to spend time practicing …” If looks could kill, well …

Oftentimes I wonder if these two funny little mental blocks are related, as both seem to have to do with orientating oneself in space, one physically the other mentally. Who knows … The whole point of these odd little tales is to illustrate the fact that sometimes our brain just says “NO, I WILL NOT,” when it comes to certain things. It’s more difficult when the things our brain refuses to do are common skills that it seems like the majority of others have no problem with. Most people that don’t understand a mental block or question its validity aren’t actually trying to be jerks, they just honestly don’t know what they don’t know. And yes, it’s ok to ask for accommodations and sometimes it will be necessary. However, when we can come up with tools and tricks for ourselves to get around our brain’s refusal it’s not just about pleasing other people. Doing this will also make our own life way easier and less stressful. For my location blindness, aside from using GPS I can when possible check out new locations ahead of time if I have to be there for something important, and leave early enough to accommodate for directional errors or unforeseen circumstances like construction that may throw off my route. Saying “Well, I guess someone has to drive me everywhere because I can’t do this” would only hurt myself and my ability to have a life at all and enjoy opportunities both professionally and for my own pleasure. With time blindness, alarms and reminders can be set to assist with being ready. Even if you have to set 15 alarms before work in the morning, one for waking up one for brushing your teeth, another when it’s time to make breakfast, and so on to dictate the schedule of your whole morning routine… do what helps no matter how silly it may seem to other people. Conversely, when someone shares that they are struggling with something, believe them. There’s not really any logical motivation for faking a difficulty when of course we’d all prefer that everything came easy to us.

I had the wonderful opportunity to lead a community mural in Madison Heights for their ADA Pride Celebration the end of last month, the prompt being “If the inside of your mind were a physical place, what would it look like?” This concept really connects well to these thoughts I’ve just discussed … We don’t know what the landscape of each other’s minds looks like, so listening before assuming is always best.

I will be part of a show at Creative 360‘s satellite location in downtown Midland opening mid this month that celebrates neurodiverse creators and creators with disabilities, so if you are in the area be sure to visit!

What is a struggle you have that you wish there was more understanding about? Let me know in the comments.

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New Work

Happiest Places

Happy Spring, a time of new beginnings and new art! I had been working on this 3’x3′ piece since the beginning of the year, inspired by a photograph I took at the Japanese Cultural Center in town when I first moved to Saginaw. I used both metallic and traditional acrylics and fabric. Like my other mixed media landscapes, I chose colors that captured what I feel within the place I am painting, not necessarily the true colors from nature.

Most of my art is very heavy in symbolism and story. Those pieces are invigorating to work on, but every so often I need to draw or paint something where the process is more relaxing, and simply celebrates one of my happy places.

2023 has been all about finding my happiest places, not just physically but mentally as well. I had a series of consecutive high stress years that I didn’t even fully recognize as such until I reached severe, shutdown level burnout. I don’t think even the closest people in my life aside from my parents know how truly bad it got. Part of this stress was circumstantial and completely out of my control, but some of it came from the fact that I was trying to make certain parts of my life fit together that were just never going to, like that toy we give to toddlers where they have to fit the different shaped plastic pieces into the corresponding holes. No matter how long they try to push a moon shape into a star opening, it is not going to fit. One of the most valuable things I took away from therapy over the last 3 years was “Don’t live in the land of shoulds”. I had a constant internal dialogue of guilt and shame going, “___ shouldn’t bother me, I shouldn’t be so tired, I shouldn’t be getting overwhelmed, I should have ___ by now, I shouldn’t react like ___ …” There is really not much point ruminating over what should or shouldn’t be, because reality still exists and that energy is better spent doing what we can to change what we don’t like about it rather than chastising ourselves for how we are wired.

Starting in January, I made the big scary decision to make a career transition to entirely contracted and freelance work focusing mainly on different avenues of teaching, as well as other art and design related services. I read a short blurb I happened upon while scrolling before bed the other night that said we as humans basically operate under the assumption that everything is supposed to suck (“work isn’t supposed to be fun!” “life is hard!” “everyone is tired!” “no one gets to do what they want!”), but who decided that? Is this really the best way?

Don’t ever accept a life devoid of joy, but don’t run from struggle either. Yes, life is hard but we get to choose what kind of hard. Not in all circumstances but in many, we get to pick the “hard” that we want to deal with. I made a lot of pretty serious changes around how I spend my time this year, not only with the career switch but in the way I spend time socially as well. I’m an introvert/extrovert blend for sure but I do get some serious communication fatigue. I am no longer giving time to people out of feelings of obligation, and I am no longer wasting time on outings I’m not interested in just to please others. Never fear, I have actually not become a hermit! I still go out and do fun things and socialize, but I have a lot more energy and am a lot less stressed now when I choose to do so. These changes aren’t magic, things are still hard, but it is the right type of hard (for me) and that makes all the difference.

I love teaching in person, but not everyone that wants to learn some of my techniques lives in an area where this is possible so I am open to teaching private or group lessons virtually! If this is of interest, don’t hesitate to reach out.

What changes have you made lately that made you feel more joyful?

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Artist Bio

My Daily Routine As An Independent Artist

Quite awhile ago, I discovered this fun article with the daily routines of some well-known women artists, and thought it would be interesting to share my own average day.

I am lucky to have an art related day job teaching at local nonprofits where I am able to inspire people of all ages and abilities to create, especially those who don’t know they’re artists yet.

My basic routine on days I work right away in the morning is, to be honest, getting up roughly 20-30 minutes before I have to be out the door. I value sleep, mainly because I seem to just need my exact recommended 8-9 hours or else I am either a werewolf (in temperament, not amount of hair luckily) or a zombie … either way something monstrous and not ideal.

At work, my job often involves hopping from one focus to another all under the larger umbrella of art making, but this works for me. At home I find I’m always more productive and efficient when I have several project stations going that I rotate between. Typically I’ll travel to 2-3 different cities within a 20-30 minute radius within the day, completing chunks of classes at different centers with maybe a private lesson in between. I used to hate driving, but most of that is rooted in not liking the unfamiliarity of a route and a fear of getting lost (hello Developmental Topographical Disorientation). I have some favorite youtube podcasts I listen to about psychology and sociology (Psychology In Seattle, Bryony Claire, Meg) and nostalgic 90s toys (I most recently discovered the self proclaimed Mr. American Girl) and actually enjoy this little break to have some alone time and recharge.

I currently work with 6 different programs at 5 locations that include adults with disabilities, children with disabilities, alternative high school, traditional elementary school, and beginning and intermediate adult artists. I am also currently working on a series of murals for a pediatric physician’s office, commissions, and handmade wares for my online shop.

Why freelance? Having an uncontrollable and unpredictable schedule was a huge anxiety trigger for me, one that I’d tried very hard to overcome but in the end I figured out it’s just how I’m wired. I have no problem working evenings and weekends or long days – when I consciously schedule them ahead of time for myself and know what to expect. My longest stint in the arts being a Program Coordinator (before that, a bunch of short term disaster things if you know what I mean), I also found that while I love working with my students, I did not enjoy managing other employees. I am most content being responsible only for myself, and while some people really enjoy telling others what to do, I found it incredibly taxing and uncomfortable. I also just have too many options that I am excited to be involved in! I love having my hands in so many different things, because there is equal value in each and every pursuit, and I don’t know how I could limit myself to just one. I’ve been able to say “yes!” to so many more opportunities since I transitioned into independent/contracted work. As I mentioned earlier as well, I like the variety. If I start experiencing burnout or job dissatisfaction, it is more accessible to make some tweaks since I have the opportunity to “reset” basically every quarter and make positive changes based on what I observed in previous quarters. Margin is also something I’ve really struggled with as someone whose job and hobby/passion/therapeutic activity is one and the same. Some days, I am able to build in ‘breaks’ between programs if I see that is needed.

As with any choice, there are benefits and drawbacks. Struggles have been with all the traveling, I do lose paid time. When I first started and didn’t know what to consider when scheduling everything, I was basically out of the house ‘at work’ for 12 hours but only getting paid for 6. That was NOT going to work and I had to re-evaluate when and where I was placing certain things so that I wasn’t doing as much jumping around and backtracking. You have to be ok, especially in the current US economy, with not being rich. I experience a lot of job satisfaction and this year have actually looked forward to going to work each day, which I know is rare in our society. However, there are no job provided insurance benefits, no PTO, no 401K. Doing taxes each February is super complicated. There is a lot to remember with so many different plates spinning. There will be great months and disappointing months. Also, things aren’t going to just ‘work’ instantly – I went through a period of close to 3 years where it was very hard to discern why the heck I was doing what I was doing. Each individual person is going to have to decide whether it’s worth it or not based on their own personality traits, needs, and goals.

Do I do anything at all with my time that isn’t art related is a common question … Well, when I’m not engaging creatively I enjoy puzzles, watching movies (I watch close to a movie per night … not kidding), hiking, reading, and playing Sims. I love quiet evenings at home or with one or two friends.

I always wondered if ‘little me’ would be happy if they’d have been able to look into a crystal ball and see what life looks like 30+ years in the future. I finally think the answer would be mostly YES!

The artist is always more productive while wearing her designer red carpet attire, which may or may not also be an old nightgown.

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Artist Bio

Who’s In Your Way? /Or/ I Guess I’ve Grown Up Now.

I came across a post from an old friend on facebook a couple weeks ago that read “The phrase I hear most from weak people is ‘You’re holding me back’.” It’s one of those things you read that stops you in your tracks mentally for a moment. Being me, my first thought was “Ouch! That’s kind of mean … and can’t that be true sometimes?”

I’ve been through this scenario in a workplace situation. Far back yonder, I put someone in charge of a project they wanted to lead, and spent copious amounts of my time and energy making sure they had what they needed to be supported and thrive. I was alongside the whole way, being sure to ask probing questions to get them thinking and planning while still empowering them to take the lead. I made myself available for any and all help needed, even for troubleshooting and brainstorming outside of work that I would not be compensated for. Long story short, even with all this they continued to sit on their hands until after much pleading and prompting, I was forced to take over because others were depending on the end result of this undertaking by a certain due date. The other helped about 20%, and a lot of what they did I had to improve upon or fix because full effort wasn’t put in. Afterwards, both our names ended up on the project and they were PISSED. The attitude was that they had done most of the work, and I was just in the way but everyone always wants to give me all the credit and attention because of favoritism. Not to get into my life and/or work history, but the idea of me ever getting superfluous credit or “favoritism” is laughable. Oftentimes it’s honestly been almost the polar opposite. I never had asked for my name to be on the project or even told anyone I’d done most of the work because I hadn’t wanted to make the other look bad, and I had actually been planning to let them take the credit which was why their reaction especially upset me. Yes, that’s dumb and unhealthy but as I said this was years and years ago. The truth has a way of being noticed regardless, and so someone had deemed fit to add my name in the final credits. At the end of their rant was when I was treated to the above statement, when I was told all I do is stand in the way of their success, and I was rendered quite speechless. They are lucky I was speechless, because I had entered full volcano mode at this point.

I’ve also run into this accusation in my social life outside of work, usually when I won’t drop everything to completely manage the events of someone else’s life.

However, I certainly can’t sit here and point the finger as if I’ve never had a similar attitude during some struggle points in my own existence. I remember countless frustrated, tearful conversations with family as a teen and young adult asserting that I would never find my success because of where I lived, and it was their fault I’d never find a job in my field because they didn’t pay for me to go to college out of state, and wouldn’t drive me across the country and get me an apartment in California, and how I would never have any real friends because they chose to start a family in such a boring place where no one likes me … Yikes, I’m super embarrassed now at how rotten that sounds but it’s the truth.

I have struggled to find my place in this world, and at times still do. Only now, I’m not convinced location has a ton to do with it. Maybe a small percentage, but I also think I may just always be that way and that’s ok, we all have things.

Not quite what she had in mind…

It’s always easier to point at someone else as the reason you’re floundering. It takes strength to look at yourself and say hey, I’ve got to step it up and make some changes. The moment I stopped being so narrowly focused and started being open to doing things with my art career outside of a very specific, internally special to me, niche subject I started reaching people, which in turn drew them into all that special interest stuff too. In the past, I never would have created a mixed media landscape because, “Allise only does a, b, and c” (Freshman year of college, a friend asked me to paint a girl holding a cat for her dorm bedroom and I did but put dragon wings on the cat because I was on a dragon kick! – This reminds me now of something some of my Artshop students would do. Ok, maybe I have found one place I feel at home most of the time 😉 ). I expanded my scope to add a broad letter d, I also do art that may not be my special subject of interest but helps improve others’ lives and makes people happy, especially those groups that may not have access to fine art on a daily basis.

Sorry for the language, but it’s funny. Oscar Wilde once said, “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh. Otherwise they’ll kill you”.

The moment I stopped thinking I deserved more than where I was and cut the entitlement, I saw doors where before I’d thought there was only a brick wall. Am I rich and famous now – hell no. But am I pretty happy most of the time, and do I generally like my life? I’d say, sure, I think so.

No one can stop you unless you let them, and no one is obligated to prop you up. Show gratitude to those who do anyway, and do your own work.

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