Tag Archives: surreal

Art Discussion, New Work

New Art – Diverse Creation

It’s been a tough year in the United States for the word “diversity”, with a mass confusion of what DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) is versus what affirmative action is resulting in unfortunate fallout, particularly for individuals with disabilities (See video below … who says autistic folks can’t be sarcastic/humorous when the need arises? You know what Oscar Wilde said, ‘If you want to tell the truth, make them laugh otherwise they’ll kill you.). Michigan Arts Access, a program I have worked with as a resident artist that provides arts education in special education classrooms, lost major funding sources for next year because their work falls under the “DEI” umbrella by including students with disabilities in elective opportunities that many other traditional students automatically receive. Unfortunately, this means their services probably won’t happen next year in less wealthy communities like mine. There was a general souring in public opinion towards the word DEI despite most people actually agreeing with the principles and practices of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion when asked without using the acronym itself, according to research. If anything, this reveals how muddled understanding has gotten as we have access to more information than we’ve ever been expected to handle all at once, but that’s a conversation for another day. 

The thing is, while equity and inclusion are sadly optional, in America we’re stuck with diversity whether we like it or not. This may seem too obvious to need reminding, but America is unique because everyone who lives here at one point came from somewhere else, and who has been here longer may at times be surprising (i.e. my Mexican partner’s family settled in Texas long before my ancestors came here from Italy, England, Hungary.).

Diversity is built into all of creation. The differences in plants, animals, and insects both visually and in how they function serve a purpose. Similarly, our different backgrounds, cultures, genders, and brains all bring something distinct to the table, and our society runs better when all are included and their gifts nurtured. Imagine what would happen if you had a vegetable garden, but decided tomatoes were your favorite so you’re only going to water those and just let the rain take care of the rest. Rain helps, but it’s not enough, and eventually the other plants would die, and you’d get pretty tired of only eating tomatoes every day. (Apparently I’m really into garden metaphors when it comes to people – see last year’s mural.) 

We can’t marvel at the vast variety in a field of flowers or all the different patterns on the wings of butterflies, and at the same time be angry about differences in the people around us. We can’t become excited about the literal tour around the world we can take in almost any given city when picking a restaurant, but be upset that we have neighbors who came from the culture where those recipes originated. 

It may feel like diversity is ‘canceled’, but the very notion is ridiculous. I am in no way trying to downplay the significance of words and policies that communicate that certain people don’t deserve basic needs, education opportunities, or respect. However, individuals, and I daresay especially creatives, still have a choice. This new piece was recently created for an upcoming Fall show with the theme “Diversity Is Beauty And Strength”. I’ve also been working on a series of fantasy themed family portraits from a client who reached out to me from my ebay shop. She noted that she saw my series of cute angels/fairies and mermaids and noticed that I offered a bunch of different skin tone choices. She shared that her family is mixed race, and it’s difficult to find fantasy art that looks like them. Thus, one of the most fun commissions I’ve ever done was born. I enjoyed getting to know my subjects from afar through an exchange of personal stories, and channeling their joys, struggles, and dreams into these keepsakes. More still to come!

This year has been hitting creators hard, but art is communication and we creative people are in a unique position to pivot the cultural conversation. How do you think diversity enhances the way you experience your daily life and community?

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New Work

‘Generosity’ : Mixed Media Surrealism

In between 3 murals this summer, I recently completed my 5th part of my current Fruits Of The Spirit series, Generosity/Goodness. This is the only larger start to finish piece I’ve completed this year, so that was certainly a triumph! Along with working on my own concept based fine art, I’ve been enjoying creating art people can take home with them: comics, clothing and accessories, mini paintings, and more.

I’ve mentioned in the past that it is important to me that my art connects with people of varying backgrounds. Though my art often deals with themes that have emotional depth, I haven’t made, well, ANY spiritual or faith based art before for that reason. The Fruits Of The Spirit come from the Christian tradition, but are principles that we can all relate to.

Generosity, perhaps recently more than ever, is so countercultural to the way we function (I’m in the US right now, so I can’t speak to anywhere else.). At times there is even open scorn for generosity, as we make assumptions about why certain people may have ended up in a situation where they need help, and why they don’t deserve it. I was recently notified that Michigan Arts Access, a program I work with that provides opportunities in arts, theatre, and music education to students in special education (like the arts branch of Special Olympics), will likely not be able to continue its work next year due to funds to support inclusion opportunities for individuals with disabilities being diverted via a federal mandate to an “American Heroes Sculpture Garden” that will cost up to 40 million dollars. We are seeing in real time that a lack of generosity has nothing to do with a lack of funds. In an era where we hear and read daily phrases like “protect your peace”, and see the usually beneficial and healthy practice of boundary setting being weaponized as an excuse to be a self centered and unsupportive friend, generosity with our time and emotions is also at an all time low.

Inspired by art history and ancient pottery, I decided to convey generosity in the form of the figure’s hands being like spouts on a vessel, bountiful water pouring forth from inside. The reason I chose to depict the figure surrounded by more water, lush plants growing all around, has to do with the idea that there is enough. Our own resources may be finite, which is why we can’t do everything alone. However, when we come together as a community it is possible for everyone to get what they need without harming anyone else. Below I filmed some closeups of the finished piece, and talk a bit more about the project.

When I see struggle happening everywhere and want to do more to help but am not sure how, or feel depleted myself, I draw from my faith, my close friends and family, and the network I’ve built as a working artist that has provided me with so many opportunities to use my gifts for good. What are the sources of your renewal?

Later this Fall, I have the opportunity to volunteer in leading some mindfulness art activities to guests at a mental health festival in a nearby city. Be sure to check back as I update everyone on how it went!

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Art Discussion, New Work

Seeing Red – Finishing Abandoned Art (Or Why I Don’t Throw Anything Away)

Long ago, I’m talking nearly 10 years ago, I had an idea to explore color theory and color psychology through 5 color-themed pieces centered around the 3 primaries, and black and white. I completed the piece representing “White” first to get the most difficult one over with as exemplifying the absence of color in a piece of art is not always so easy, and white in general has to be my least favorite color – probably why I never succeeded in my original field of interior design as that seems to be all people want nowadays. But I digress …

I immediately after finishing White/’The End Is Also The Beginning’, started a piece for “Red”, much more a color to my liking. But then, the great covid catastrophe happened, life was weird, I got going on other projects, I had no clue how to finish the background, I got tired of coloring the pattern on the dress (Why oh why didn’t I just use fabric again like the first piece!), and there it sat abandoned inside an XL drawing pad for 6 years. I thought about just throwing it away as I wasn’t sure I was ever going to finish this series anyway. I know you have to be careful with this, but I am a huge advocate of not throwing old or unfinished art away because with a new perspective years later, you can make magic out of it. Behold, Red, or ‘Attachment’.

Red is without a doubt the strongest color emotionally, and the color that commands the greatest response both positive and negative. It’s no accident that stoplights and stop signs are red. Although, I remember reading the sort of bio in the front of an art book by one of my favorite artists, Ray Caesar. He mused on how he had always struggled with driving because to him red was an action color that meant “GO” rather than stop. That pretty much sums up the nature of red, commanding but conflicting.

It creates a response, but what kind of response widely varies by person and situation. Advertising uses red to create a sense of urgency, draw attention to a product or special sale, and make viewers think they HAVE to do something. Red is super stimulating especially when a bright primary but even when it’s a darker version as well, and can be overwhelming or off-putting to some. It symbolizes passion and romance, the color of the heart and of our blood. Fire is associated with red and red can also symbolize anger or rage (hence the saying “seeing red”), aggression and dominance. Red means luxury – think of the old Hollywood glamour classic red dress, red carpets, red lipstick, and the Christian Louboutin red soles.

Asian cultures have a particular relationship with red. In India, red is their traditional wedding dress color rather than white. In Japan, red is associated with cultural values of strength and sacrifice, but also expressions of joy, signified by a prominent red circle sun graphic on their flag. In China, red is an important symbolic color for good luck and prosperity. Across the continent, red is seen again as a warning color but this time to stave off ‘evil spirits’ or unpleasant circumstances.

Red tells stories of both joy and fortune, and tragedy and violence. It creates strong reactions and emotions, but which ones may come forward can be confusing and conflicting. Red, of all the colors, seems to be the color of our living story and our relationship to others.

Who knows, maybe I will revisit this series and keep going with it when I have the time. After all, I still have my concept sketches for blue, yellow, and black – As I mentioned, when it comes to drawings I don’t throw anything away! 😉

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Art Discussion, New Work

Exhibiting My First Sculpture: God As The Artist

My spirituality and faith resonate with me the most when I think of God as an artist. I don’t feel closest to God in the practices of church, though I do pop in occasionally for the community aspect. I’ve never been much of one for traditions, or groups, or organized religion in general even growing up raised as a Christian in childhood/teenhood. I hated the forced socializing of youth group after already draining my battery at school all day. As someone with about a two-note singing range, and who is also picky about the style of music I like, I never understood why singing was the only way I was able to celebrate faith. Can’t I stand in the back and draw or paint??? No, it is when I am outside alone in nature, taking in all the details of the sky, the tiny veins on a leaf, the beauty and intricacy of moss and mold, the teensy tiny legs of scuttling insects, the many colors (in Michigan, mostly many shades of black, yellow and brown but still!) of a bird feather, that I feel my faith bloom.

No matter what your beliefs are, we can all agree that we are blessed to be surrounded by so much vibrant beauty in our natural world. The plants and living creatures we share our lives with are so detailed and unique in color, pattern, and personality – the most amazing works of art! Our surroundings could have been all gray, streamlined, and plain and still function – but instead, we have been given the greatest gift. We are lucky to be surrounded by such diversity. Meditating on this thought helps me remember gratitude, and feel a connection to the world around me and my place in it.

I am primarily a 2D artist, but was opened up to the possibilities of clay hand building when I took a beginner class with Artshop, the inclusive program I am the lead instructor for. I later ended up as a long term sub now and again for this very same class. Though I never made anything notable out of traditional kiln fired clay, I discovered I could do the mini, picky little detailed things I wanted to with polymer clay, and even better for me I wouldn’t need the use of a kiln. Part clay, part assemblage, I sculpted all of the animals, and combined them with wooden drawing model hands, a sacrificed paint brush of mine that was past its prime, and a miniature picture frame left over from the tiny reliefs I first started creating when getting into polymer clay (The first on the left is still available in my shop, so take a look!).

3D art was always such a struggle for me in class throughout grade school and college, so I never dreamed my first real attempt as an official artist would be accepted into a juried show! My mind is turning over all the possibilities for the future, and I am excited to continue lifelong learning in arts.

Last year’s entry for the Animals In Art juried show was the largest painting I’ve ever completed … This annual January show seems to be one for firsts!

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Exhibitions and Other News

New Art / Disability & Mental Health & Exciting News

One of the reasons my new series is so slow to completion is because I’ve been creating a lot of art specifically for themed exhibits. I typically only do this if the premise speaks to me, and lately a lot of the local exhibit opportunities have really resonated. This piece was created for the Midland Area Cultural Awareness Coalition’s Pop Up Exhibit with the prompt “Our differences make us better together”. I was thinking a lot about how culture doesn’t always mean our country of origin, and how some differences can be internal more than external. In “Symphony”, I aimed to show neurodiversity including both disability and mental health. I used colored pencil for the figures, fabric for their clothing, ink for the birds, and watercolor for the background. I’m typically not a bright color person with my art, but this piece called for it. After I blended every watercolor in my palette into the background, it was … well, very bright and competing a bit too much with the figures even in their high contrast black and white. Solution: a wash of pearl white acrylic overtop. I love that this kerfuffle happened in the first place because having an iridescent foil effect in the background ended up so much cooler than if it would have been left just straight pastel watercolor.

I use birds with figures for symbolism a lot, because I love the movement birds add to an image and birds have long been a visual metaphor for the soul. The different artistic depiction of the birds flowing from each figure are representations of different ways of thinking and processing. I see this all the time with my art classes I teach. In the beginner classes, we will usually create the same basic image together step-by-step, but the exciting variety I see across everyone’s artwork still is truly amazing.

The birds eventually all converge into one stream, mingling together and blending into streaks of color. I didn’t have a title for this piece until the very end, when the word “Symphony” came to mind. Our thoughts, words, ideas, personality, presence, all play a part in our community and society as a whole, and each part is important. Much like a symphony in which each instrument layers together to create the finished song, or a work of art like this one where each splash of paint or piece of fabric layers together to create a recognizable image, all of our different experiences and ways of looking at and processing the world are necessary for innovation and progress.

This piece was one of the most fun mixed media artworks to create that I’ve worked on in awhile, and I was additionally honored with the Best Of Show Award. Prints will be available soon in my online shop, so keep an eye out, or you can always contact me directly.

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Exhibitions and Other News

Summer 2024 Wrap Up & Artsy Photo Dump

This summer came and went so quickly, I wanted to do a recap. This started out as something just for myself and my personal journaling to stop and reflect, but then I thought it may be interesting to those that follow me to hear what I’ve been up to. I love sharing fascinating things related to creativity, but sometimes forget to talk about what I’ve been up to. 

This was truly an art-filled summer. I completed my first largescale mural after years of mini public arts projects. I learned a lot, and gained important experience to carry forward into future projects. I was able to integrate community participation into my design with the overarching concept being a message of inclusion, which is very important to me. The process of allowing anyone and everyone to make their mark in helping with the base coats of color made the inclusion more than just conceptual, but a reality of the artistic process.

I distributed my art and handmade wares into 4 gallery shops covering Midland (Creative 360), Saginaw (Gingerblue), and Bay City (Catworks, Studio 23). I work between these 3 cities as well as an arts educator, and they are all within 30 minutes of each other which makes replenishing sold items something I can do with ease and not a lot of arduous travel or pre-planning. Sometimes I get overly focused on “elsewhere” and while expansion is important, working close by may be what is best for my busy schedule and self care right now. 

I stretched myself and did my first live painting at a wedding. Making a photo-realistic portrait to memorialize someone’s once in a lifetime (or that’s the goal anyway!) day is a lot of pressure. I also had a very limited time, and I’m not usually a wedding person even with people I know well since these sorts of events are typically a social anxiety doozy for me. The experience ended up being a much needed bright spot in what happened to have been a very tough week. It was beautiful, vibrant, inspiring, and uplifting in all the best ways, and was another opportunity that added to my repertoire of services I can offer.

I officially expanded my online shop to not just art, but art and fun fashion and cute collectible things I like in an effort to declutter and simplify life (starting with my wardrobe!) and have a greater customer reach. As we get closer to the holidays, might I suggest you check out the shop for unique wares ;).  

I took a break from some things I consistently do in order to make room for new experiences. I chose not to participate in any art fairs until mid-September, put off any little home repair projects until Fall, didn’t book myself solid with classes or alternatively plan a bunch of trips. I gardened, journaled, did lots of reading, spent time just being outside, increased physical-activity-related hobbies, and cooked at home a lot. It may sound like a boring summer, but it was so regenerative and allowed me to get ready for a busier Fall.

Since it’s not technically Fall yet, I ended my Summer with a wonderful surprise … I was awarded 2nd Place at Studio 23’s Michigan All-State Juried Exhibition for my piece “Breathe” – and it sold the evening of the show! I get very attached to my art so it’s always satisfying yet bittersweet when one sells, but honestly I could not be more excited.

16×20″ Prismacolor Pencil and Mixed Media

What are some memorable moments from your Summer of 2024?

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Artist Bio

The ABCs of Creation – D Is For Dreams

An artist friend recently shared with me an article they wrote titled “The ABCs of Underground Art”. I really enjoyed it, and they encouraged me to write my own ABC’s of the type of art that I do as a fun journaling prompt to use to unwind and organize your thoughts. Those that have followed me for awhile know that I don’t typically stick to just one type of art, so to open up the limits I decided to make my “alphabet” the ABC’s of Creation. I have assigned a word to each letter, along with a video of my illustrating a cool little ACEO sized letter inspired visual to go with each word. Read, listen, or both – whatever works! 

D is for Dream. Creating allows us to show others things they could never see in real life. It transports us. The art I appreciate the most takes ideas from reality but uses innovation to present it in a new way. This is the kind of art that makes creation valuable; we can’t just look out the window and see what it is showing us. Not to say realistic things like landscapes can’t show us a new reality, Look at Van Gogh! Creating invites us into the mind of someone else, a place we can’t usually go.

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New Work

‘Patience’ : Mixed Media Surrealism

Chugging along rather slowly, I’ve finished the 4th installment of my current Fruits Of The Spirit series, Patience. This is an apt theme, as this series is one of the slowest yet, and I am not used to working slow! Sometimes it really irks me that I’m over halfway through 2024 and have just this month been finishing up some of my started pieces, being used to finishing 15-20 new artworks a year sometimes. This comes with the territory of working larger, and accepting more opportunities outside of my studio like public art and murals, live painting at events, and vendor markets. The 2 works below were started way back in 2021!

Patience is a loaded concept for me, and a lot of reflection went into this piece as there were a number off different directions it could take.

I’m told I have a lot of patience with “difficult” people, and that I have unconditional patience with my students when I’m teaching. I’ve found my particular flavor of patience through working with individuals with disabilities and mental health issues in some of the art programs I teach through, but for most of my life I would not describe myself as a patient person. Though typically considered advanced academically, I was perpetually late to the party where anything else was concerned growing up, or at least it felt that way. Whether completely accurate or partially a perception based on comparison to my friends or peers, this cultivated a lot of internalized anger; last to learn how to ride a bike, last to get invited to parties or social gatherings, last to go on a date, last to see their favorite band live, last to land a ‘real’ job, last to … I know this is a relatable feeling for many, but to the individual in the moment it feels like life is just passing by. When these typical milestones that may seem insignificant individually keep cumulatively falling by the wayside, it chips away at your self worth – especially when you don’t know why you can’t just ‘get it together’. I always find it funny that when I catch up with people I haven’t seen in a long time, they are amazed by all the things I HAVE done, because I sure don’t see it that way. Sometimes when we don’t reach all those wonderful but pretty bland, typical milestones we end up feeling so singled out that we miss all the unique, interesting milestones we have reached. 

My first art show where I won an award was my college showcase senior year at CMU (Grand prize, baby!). I took to the streets /slash/ internet and asked people what their most obscure goal was, and then illustrated the results and made them into a book. Deep down, I knew that there was no such thing as a “typical” timeline and that we define our own milestones, and I think that’s why that concept so appealed to me.

Patience is knowing that seed you hold can become a forest. Patience is deeply integrated within faith, and there are many times when I think that both patience and faith are just the goofiest things ever. But then I feel a cool shade overhead and suddenly realize that my tiny seed has become a tall, strong tree and I didn’t even notice it was growing. I think my younger self thought certain things would have happened in my life by now that haven’t, BUT I also think my younger self never thought other things would have happened by now that did. 

If you want to see some of the process, a closeups of the actual piece, and hear the symbolism behind the different elements of “Patience” please check out the video below.

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Art Discussion

AI Is Making Surrealism Boring

I’ll be honest, I do digital art when I have to for some logo commissions and such but I love traditional art, and I love traditional animation. I once had an art student who was very into Disney, and they would bring in printouts of digitally remastered screenshots and point out all the errors, circling them in red pen on one copy and then drawing over a 2nd copy to fix the colors, textures, etc. and restore them closer to the original, thus “fixing” it. That was their relaxing art therapy – and you know, I get it. That being said anyone who knows me can guess ahead of time I’m probably not going to be into AI visuals. Whether you like the look of AI art, or find it to be a soulless disaster, the fact of the matter is there are some questionable ways AI is trained to create “art” that definitely looks like stealing from other artists unless you are using the programs just as an idea generator or a “base” which you then digitally draw on top of and make your own.

The other concern which should be valid whether you enjoy AI or not is the fact that there are many people that already, even with AI generated images still in their wonky stage, cannot tell when something isn’t real. This could be problematic where things like news and current events are concerned, and AI has already been used to make fake photos of celebrities. I can typically tell pretty easily as I’m a highly detailed, visual thinking person. For those who have a more difficult time discerning, some suggestions I’d start with as far as what to look for are:

  • “Snapchat Filter Face” – Everything is unrealistically smooth with a “glow” that doesn’t seem to be coming from any light source. Eyes often look like they are plastic, and seem glazed and overly glossy.
  • Bizarre details such as clothing that doesn’t make sense (a floating collar above a scoop neck T-shirt for example), nonsensical background details such as a home kitchen with 3 ovens instead of cupboards and counter space, misspelled words, objects that don’t belong in the context of the scene, things that are out of proportion scale wise.
  • Lack of clarity – Disappearing edges or fogginess in the background, and conflicting light sources.

I think people escaping into AI also bothers me because it is just such a poor substitute for the real thing, and we could have the real thing! We could have good design. We could have fun, joy, and whimsy in the spaces we live and work in. We have in the past. We’d rather play house with imaginary designs of rainbow colored kitchens or striking gothic black and eggplant living rooms than actually utilize engaging design in the spaces we inhabit. We can make anything we want to live in, and white and beige boxes are really it? (I studied interior design in college, and am NOT practicing for many of these reasons, so I’m extra salty about this particular AI vein). Similarly, we can learn to bake, crochet and sculpt, and it’s a lot more satisfying for the soul than pressing a button. I resent the fact that AI is making creativity blasé.

AI looks like a dream because of the missing details, skewed text and numerals, hazy edges, ambiguity, and even the nonsense. You’d think I’d love it as I’ve always been into surrealism and dream inspired media. I do love the below images (the creator openly expressed that Midjourney was used, which I appreciate. ).

Still, the human mind is an important element that’s missing. A big part of surrealism is psychology, opening your mind to the unconscious, and freeing oneself of social standards and social norms. AI is the exact opposite. It trains on immense amounts of existing images as well as popular opinion based ratings, making it a culmination of what is trendy, and often stereotypical. There is something to be said for using art to show us something we can’t see in real life as a means of visually communicating a real life emotion, struggle, or life experience. (Left, some of my works in progress. Right, one of my favorites from Remidios Varo, ‘Woman Leaving The Psychoanalyst’.)

AI does create some interesting opportunities for allowing those with dexterity issues from injury or disability to create visual art. Of course, I think of my students with disabilities that I teach on a weekly basis that work with these issues to still create handmade visual art just in a completely different way, and have to wonder if that isn’t still more satisfying. We actually have a 3D printer and I can’t get them to touch it! They want to get their hands in the paint and pastels.

Technology can be a great tool to help us innovate. In my opinion, it’s not being used well if it creates more sameness and overwrites creativity.

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Art Discussion, New Work

New Art Discussion : Belonging

I had the opportunity end of last year to create a largescale piece of art for an animal themed show at one of the galleries where I teach. When the call was made, I already had a canvas prepped and had been planning to do something centered around a jungle scene anyway. I decided to take the original idea further and come up with a concept that would fit the upcoming exhibit. From the beginning I’d wanted to represent all of my “big cats” in the jungle scene as female, and have the piece exude an essence of feminine strength, power, and courage. In the end, I had a lot of trouble coming up with a title when suddenly the word “Belonging” popped into my head and just wouldn’t leave.

So, I ended 2023 completing a piece about strength and courage, and in the first half of 2024 I had two people lend me the same book within the same week, The Gifts Of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I supposed that meant I should probably read it! Within the first 30 pages, I learned the important fact that I am actually courageous, a quality I may see in the characters in my art but that was never, ever a word I would have thought to apply to myself. The introductory chapter explains the root of the word courage in the original latin as deriving from cor, meaning heart – courage originally meant ‘to speak one’s mind by telling one’s heart’. As the chapter went on to delve deeper into that concept, I came to the realization that I have been courageous all along and just didn’t know it because I was defining courage by cinema standards.

I have often joked with people that I don’t do small talk, I only do big talk. I love being around people, but I have anxiety and some sensory issues (the main reason why I never thought the word courageous could ever apply to me by default), and so my social reserves get depleted quicker than maybe the average person. I need regular intervals of alone time to recharge. I’m not going to waste my precious reserve talking about whether it’s sunny or cloudy outside when you could just look out the window or stick your hand out the door and feel it. I don’t feel like describing the minutia of what I did all day, or answering any questions that only require one word like “fine”. I’m not opposed to being friendly and polite, but for the most part I don’t understand spending energy in conversation that adds nothing edifying to either person’s life. At times, this tendency has backfired. Some people don’t want to hear about the interesting dream you had last night and what you think it means, or to be asked what was the most fascinating thing they’ve thought about today, what was the most surprising thing they’ve seen this week – and that’s ok. Some people are uncomfortable hearing about anything that isn’t sunshine and rainbows, and seeing the raw emotions of the people around them. That’s where the courage part comes in I suppose, going deeper you risk rejection and ridicule.

I am an open book and always have been. I honestly think I don’t know how to be un-authentic so I don’t always even have a choice, it’s just how I work! Over the last 5 years especially I have been candid with people in my life about the inevitable beauty of life, and the accompanying chaos. Through virtual communication like this and other means I’ve shared my experiences even with those I don’t know that well. I don’t shy away from letting others know how I am doing, including when I am struggling. I have been open and honest about what I need when I’m not getting it, about the tough choices I’ve made that everyone might not like, about how my relationships are going. I’ve learned to be mindful, and to allow my openness to be paired with purpose and deliberation after some communication missteps. At the end of the day though, my sharing something uncomfortable that I’ve experienced can help others going through similar things, and also open the eyes of people who may never have given that experience a thought so that they can look at situations around them with compassion and curiosity, not judgement and condemnation. Reaching out and saying, I am struggling because I have been working so hard and still don’t feel like I belong anywhere is the only way there will be any hope of someone else reaching back and saying, ‘hey, I may know a place where you would!’.

I believe that is why that word “Belonging” was stuck in my mind after I stepped back and looked at my finished painting. I don’t think you can make a true connection with anyone if you aren’t willing to show all the parts of you. Belonging takes courage.

At the opening reception, a fellow artist came up to me and shared that her child had looked at my painting and said ‘That girl looks like she would play with me’. Sometimes our art knows what it wants to say before we do.

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