Chugging along rather slowly, I’ve finished the 4th installment of my current Fruits Of The Spirit series, Patience. This is an apt theme, as this series is one of the slowest yet, and I am not used to working slow! Sometimes it really irks me that I’m over halfway through 2024 and have just this month been finishing up some of my started pieces, being used to finishing 15-20 new artworks a year sometimes. This comes with the territory of working larger, and accepting more opportunities outside of my studio like public art and murals, live painting at events, and vendor markets. The 2 works below were started way back in 2021!

Patience is a loaded concept for me, and a lot of reflection went into this piece as there were a number off different directions it could take.

I’m told I have a lot of patience with “difficult” people, and that I have unconditional patience with my students when I’m teaching. I’ve found my particular flavor of patience through working with individuals with disabilities and mental health issues in some of the art programs I teach through, but for most of my life I would not describe myself as a patient person. Though typically considered advanced academically, I was perpetually late to the party where anything else was concerned growing up, or at least it felt that way. Whether completely accurate or partially a perception based on comparison to my friends or peers, this cultivated a lot of internalized anger; last to learn how to ride a bike, last to get invited to parties or social gatherings, last to go on a date, last to see their favorite band live, last to land a ‘real’ job, last to … I know this is a relatable feeling for many, but to the individual in the moment it feels like life is just passing by. When these typical milestones that may seem insignificant individually keep cumulatively falling by the wayside, it chips away at your self worth – especially when you don’t know why you can’t just ‘get it together’. I always find it funny that when I catch up with people I haven’t seen in a long time, they are amazed by all the things I HAVE done, because I sure don’t see it that way. Sometimes when we don’t reach all those wonderful but pretty bland, typical milestones we end up feeling so singled out that we miss all the unique, interesting milestones we have reached. 

My first art show where I won an award was my college showcase senior year at CMU (Grand prize, baby!). I took to the streets /slash/ internet and asked people what their most obscure goal was, and then illustrated the results and made them into a book. Deep down, I knew that there was no such thing as a “typical” timeline and that we define our own milestones, and I think that’s why that concept so appealed to me.

Patience is knowing that seed you hold can become a forest. Patience is deeply integrated within faith, and there are many times when I think that both patience and faith are just the goofiest things ever. But then I feel a cool shade overhead and suddenly realize that my tiny seed has become a tall, strong tree and I didn’t even notice it was growing. I think my younger self thought certain things would have happened in my life by now that haven’t, BUT I also think my younger self never thought other things would have happened by now that did. 

If you want to see some of the process, a closeups of the actual piece, and hear the symbolism behind the different elements of “Patience” please check out the video below.